I grabbed a black pen and a thin book right now. I was thinking of writing something worthy; an interesting poem that can attract the people around. I opened the notebook and placed the tip of the pen point on the first line. I thought and thought. The time was running faster than I expected.
Still nothing stuck my head. Got so frustrated by what was happening, I stood up and jumped out of the room into the kitchen. The water was boiling hard. Still without anything in my head, I decided to take a warm nap. Suddenly I felt it is not good to sleep because it may become bad habit for rest of my life. My head is burning with disappointment. “What happened to me? Sad boy, you are under deterioration; nerve cells degenerating”, I was talking to nobody but myself. Things are changing fast. Yesterday, I could think of thousand words to scribble down, today even a simple but interesting word to write a poem is absent from my mind.
What does that mean? Is it phenomenal in life? I could not understand my brain. I can no longer trust my head to teach and lead me to the right direction. I am scared of what really is happening for it may shatter my beautiful life. I just wanted the things, just simple things with value. I don’t want headaches while writing. I need spontaneous flow of beautiful words to jot down. I write with all my heart, spending hours and hours, with patience and tolerance. You don’t need them to write. Why do I need? It’s simple. I need because words are like mining gold and silver in my case. They come rarely. I sometimes go to the extent of flipping dictionary in search of new and suitable words. They aren’t stored in my head.
As a high school student, I seldom read books. Writing was in the last row of my interest list. The very reason why things don’t turn up right while I am writing lies in who I was before; a person who rarely read.
Moreover, I am pretty sure what’s happening to werneki’s area of my brain too. So no doubt that I cannot express as I wanted. Words fallen short in my brain. 😭😭😭
