I am currently living in Paro but I am from Tashigang who came here seeking for a better life. Not the best but I have a sustainable life at the moment under a benevolent proprietor. I am gifted with weaving skills which made be proud to this level.
Today I am going to tell you one story of my life which I thought would be helpful for you to proceed in your own life. I have completed my tenth grade from Ramjar Middle Secondary School but I didn’t go to Bayling High School as most of my friends did. I continued my high school in Motithang Higher School as decided by my elder brother. He was working in Bank of Bhutan, Thimphu.
It was during that time I encountered with Rinchen Samten who fell in love with me. We shared our life stories and when we knew, we were deeply attached. We could not separate from each other just like some love stories in Bhutanese movies. We became actor and actress in our own life stories. We became the wings of a bird. We were flower and bees. My river of love meandered into the ocean of his life and my love drowned in his salty emotions and I decided to be the part of the salty ocean.
Time ran in haste and everyone in the school knew about us. Rinchen was not just a young handsome man. He had his fame in academic performance but not as much as he was known for being a musician. He was proud to tell me that he released his first music video when he was in eighth grade.
We didn’t know the sun must set once it’s risen. We even forgot that sun and moon are meant to be beautiful in their own way. What we knew was if we were two streams met at one point, we would become weak if two streams eventually take their own way separately at one point. As much as the love got stronger, the rays of love radiating from us also got more and more. It’s not just school friends who knew us, the breeze of love from ocean expanded over the entire shore and farther beyond it. Our parents knew about us.
High school life ended and it’s unbelievable that the bee must fly away from the flower it has landed whether or not it would return to the flower. I went to back to almost nearer from where I came, Sherubtse College(Shercol) to pursue Media and he went to College of Science and Technology(CST) for IT engineering. Only that time did we realize why Korean movie makes us pain. I understood why the lovers cry in such time.
All that I didn’t know danced hard in my heart day and night for three years of my college life. The thorn of distance from my beloved pricked me so hard, however, I kept my words and promise to my parents too. Never did I leave my studies aside but emotionally I was losing my old self. No more I could perform to the level I used to do before. Every single day, video calling or calling once or twice a day with Rinchen healed me temporarily. I loved him so much.
Hey! I was talking about my life which happened ten years ago. Do you believe me that I am a weaver despite my graduation from Shercol? Whatever, this is how I finally ended up doing. Don’t believe me but my relatives and parents look down on me as most of you might do as well.
Let me continue here….
I was one among many roaming Thimphu city in Kira and Rachu carrying a file full of documents. I didn’t qualify from RCSC and even after one year from RCSC, I was not employed anywhere. Love talks and usual future talks continued between me and Rinchen. We met regularly. By the way, he is employed soon after we was qualified from RCSC.
One day, I went to meet Rinchen in his house. Love between us has turned into what normally happens after being in relationship for so long. More talk about how we would care our first child and which country would be the first to visit. I realized that the depth of my love was still strong when I heard his parents talking about me as I reached near the door.
“Rinchen, how much do I have to tell you this?”, dad was talking to Rinchen.
“What is it, dad?”, Rinchen replied.
What followed next was the reason I never forget even if I try to do so. I was enlightened that time for the first time. Enlightened with the cat that I am jobless and one need job in order to have independent life even if your better half has job. I didn’t love him just because he was employed. You know it right. I suffered yearning with the endearment I have for Rinchen.
Father continued, “Boy, this days it’s better if both you and your wife is having job. You know, if you need to live proud and rich you need someone with job? Just a man earning is really pathetic these days? Gyelmo is still unemployed, son, it’s not too late for you to start again”.
I thought his parents were better than this. I didn’t know that they were such a materialistic parents. ‘Most of the rich families want to marry their son or daughter to another rich family’, I have heard it being said when I was in high school but I didn’t believe seeing Rinchen’s parents. I was wrong not to believe that. That believe was obscured by their pretentious kindness and friendliness for past couple of months.
“But dad I love her. She love me more than you can imagine. Please, I won’t marry anyone but her. I don’t need rich or employed woman, what I need is a faithful and loving partner. Dad! That’s all I prefer.” Rinchen was crying at that time.
They must have conversation, perhaps, an hour before I reached there.
“Rinchen, enough is enough”, father seemed ferocious. “You cannot marry her. We have a better partner for you”.
It was adequate for me and I could no longer bear to hear more. I left immediately back from the door. I have lived with pain yearning for love and thereafter I lived crying for not being fortunate enough to call my love, ‘my love’. I didn’t know that those words from his parents would kill all my heart for him. I was angry and deeply disappointed. I cried all by myself alone in a huge empty room of mine. I deactivated my Facebook account, changed my SIM card and all other means that Rinchen would possibly reach me. I shifted to a new location temporarily to avoid him. However, I really expected him to come searching for me. It’s been few months we didn’t contact each other.
A month later, I met his friend when I was secretly circumambulating the Gongza Chorten(stupa). Tenzin was his best college mate, I just knew him for a several months. He told me that Rinchen left his house in search of me and he died of drug overdose a week ago. Thunder and lightening hit me so hard at that moment. I ran towards Lungten Zampa as fast as I can. I really wanted to die and go after him but Tenzin, with suspicion, followed me who hold my hands. Tenzin consoled me. He advised me as if he knows everything about my family.
“Think about your mom and dad. If you loved him that much, let him rest in peace at least. He won’t be happy seeing you doing this”.
I apologized Rinchen for being so cruel. I could not do anything to save my only love. Tenzin promised to help find a job for me. A week later, I was recruited here, where I stand now where I have been working for three years now. Rinchen! I can see him. He is omnipresent and he told me to share our story to you all. Yeah! You heard it right. I lost my love because I was jobless.
Fiction: contemporary realistic fiction.
