What makes you nervous?
The fluorescent lights of the hospital hallway hum with a familiar, steady rhythm—a sound that usually anchors me. As the Medical Officer In-Charge, I’m used to being the person with the protocols, the checklists, and the answers. But lately, when the ward quietens down and I have a moment to think, a different kind of restless energy takes over.
It’s the feeling of being caught between two worlds.
In one world, I am here in Chhukha, navigating the daily complexities of hospital management and staff supervision. I know how to handle an emergency consultation or draft a precise office order. There is a comfort in the “Dr. Tshering” persona, whether I’m advocating for health literacy on my vlog or checking the progress of a new graft on a peach tree in the garden. These are things I can measure, prune, and improve.
But then, I look at Tandin Yangchen. She just turned one, and every time she hits a new milestone, it’s a reminder of how fast the clock is ticking toward mid-year.
Soon, I’ll be trading these familiar hallways for the lecture halls of Prince of Songkla University. The transition to a Radiology residency in Thailand feels like stepping into a vast, misty landscape. It’s the “unknowns” that get to me: the shift from being the one in charge back to being a student, the challenge of mastering a specialized field, and the weight of ensuring my family thrives in a new place without me.
I find myself mentally rehearsing the move while I work on my Google Sheets or organize clinical files. I wonder if I’ve prepared enough, if my Thai is up to par, and if I’m ready for the intensity of a three-year program.
It isn’t a paralyzing fear; it’s more like the anticipation before a big football match. The stakes are high, the jersey is on, and while my hands are steady when I hold a stethoscope, my mind is already halfway across the continent, trying to map out a future that hasn’t quite come into focus yet. I take a deep breath, look at the next patient file, and remind myself: one SOP at a time.
